Jeeva

Jeeva aka Maji(1956 - 21) my mother, was from a village near Nettapakkam, Pondicherry . Her mother lived with us in our home until she died around 1993 followed by her father within months. Her father lived alone from 1980’s until his death.

After her marriage with my father , she initially lived in Tindivanam during 1971, later lived in Cuddalore, before i was born during their stay in Chidambaram. Finally she settled at Koothapakkam until i needed her at Pondicherry .

Guardian Mother

She took great care of me and went to extraordinary lengths to provide the best for me. Even though this might be the wish of every parent, she succeeded in delivering on whatever she wished for me.

On her insistence i went to a school nearly 7kms away, to which none of the children in my neighborhood went. I initially went in an auto rickshaw before changing to school bus.

During end Apr’ 2021, to commemorate her birthday and the fiftieth marriage anniversary, we had close to 10+ relatives at our home. Both me and my son got infected with the Coronavirus. Even though both of us isolated ourselves, i passed out due to low blood pressure. On seeing this, she got heavily distressed and took physical care of me. Since she refused to vaccinate unlike my father, she got infected and never recovered from it. I admitted her in Jipmer hospital and my father attended to her for more than 15 days before being moved to ICU, where she died after more than a month on ventilator.

Emotional Quotient

She was a people person. She went to great lengths to maintain the privacy of her acquaintances and hence trusted. This trust allowed her to keep close emotional bonds with people. Her phenomenal memory helped her to remember all the people who mattered to her friends. Her circle of friends included people of varying ages ranging from small kids in immediate neighborhood to newly wed relatives to older relatives.

She developed close bonding with the Doctors she consulted and they became like her family friends. Since Doctors in Government service get transferred, she had multiple Doctor friends over time. I remember her friendship with Dr Saraswathi Shanmugasundaram who helped her in mid'70’s. She consulted Dr Valli in her later years.

I was surprised by the bonding she could develop with my boss Gauranga De’s wife, who could only speak Bengali/Hindi and English. Later when she came to Singapore , she also managed to develop a warm friendship with Anne, a Chinese neighbor.

Reading and Awareness

Even though her formal education did not go beyond secondary schooling, she was an avid reader of Tamil fiction and magazines. She preferred to read family oriented fiction. Some of her favorite authors include Lakshmi, Ramani Chandran, Rajam Krishnan among others. In a way both my parents were an inspiration to my reading habit.

She also had a great spatial memory and developed independence as she aged. During 1970’s she visited Hyderabad and other places along with Dr Saraswathi. She visited places like Mumbai, Shirdi, Sabarimala, Tirupathi with friends and relatives besides joining few packaged tours. In later years, she also took along friends to various pilgrimage places.

During 2000-2001, she learned to use our computer from my friend Sudharsan, so that she can talk to me using MSN messenger and Microsoft Netmeeting before Skype came along and IDD charges became reasonable.

Even in Singapore , she traveled quite independently. In 2003, during her first visit itself, she used public transport to Mustafa Centre ↗ from Chinese Garden area and return safely after making purchases, all these without mobile and lack of English language skills. She did bring along a copy of “Learn English Through Tamil In 30 Days”, but i don’t think she put it to good use.

Entrepreneurship Journey

Saree retailer

She did a Saree retailing business for close to 3+ years. She purchased sarees in bulk from Sampath Kumar Sarees, Thillai Nagar, Trichy and sold them locally on installment. The wholesaler advertised in the inside cover or somewhere prominently in a ladies magazine. For every purchase, my parents used to leave at around 3AM or so to Trichy and will return late night with a luggage full of sarees. My father was transferred out to a place 70+ kms away for close to three years. Her role in managing the household probably increased at the time. Besides other factors like accumulation of bad debts and this transfer disrupted this business forever. The rugged luggage used for this business is still being used as of Apr'26.

Food business

She was a good Cook. She provided catering service to functions up to 100 people during the 1990’s. At this time, she also made murukku, which was distributed to a number of nearby shops by my father . In the later years, she also made sweets along with her sister during festivals like Diwali employing professional cooks.

Ladies hostel

Once i left to Vellore for college, she ran a paying guest accommodation or ladies hostel at our home . She prepared food for three meals a day. This went on for close to five years, until i returned back to work at Pondicherry . At its peak, the guest count almost touched double digits. Most of those inmates became her lifelong friends, kind of an extended family.

In all these above activities, my father actively supported her.